This was my first trip to a Board Certified Skin Doctor. My problems were small compared to the multitude of teen agers searching for an Acne cure.

The Final Frontier

A Short Story

Americans spend millions of dollars each year for that perfect thrill. The fad chasers, the sexual experimenters and the drug trade attest to this. There is one area of sheer pleasure that has been sadly neglected. I wish to pay tribute and give equal time to the Final Thrill.

Back from the jungles, the anthropologist found that our monkey cousins spend a great deal of time grooming each other. They will catch fleas, ticks, pick scabs and other such from each other as part of their social interaction. Mankind has not lost this grooming urge, even though it has lain dormant for centuries.

One day our near ancestor was grooming her mate, or whatever, she noticed a blackhead. She, being the kind soul of that day, decided to relieve him of this problem.

The squeezeness of the moment overcame her as the triumphant plop of the blackhead lay gently exposed to light. She wiped the drool from her mouth as her eyes searched for more and more little enjoyments. To hell with pot and other such, let acne prevail.

As humankind became more developed, this calling, from our past, became more of an obsession. The squeezer finds equal satisfaction extracting from himself/herself as well as others. If a squeezer observes a blackhead on a stranger, they become fixated. When the nervous jitters start, the urge to fasten a quick squeeze on a large one becomes almost irresistible.

The enlightened ones have trophy mirrors in their intersanctum. Alone, they watch a blackhead grow and develop to maturity. Then in the last possible moment, a quick squeeze and a thrilling plop. On the mirror there are impact locations and dates of blackheads that have reached the trophy stage, on display, for all to see.

The free enterprise system has responded to the challenge. Several manufactures have brought different versions of extractors to the market. The most noble innovation has been announced by the American Medical Association, The K/H Procedure. The K/H procedure means, Knot in Hole.

This procedure is performed under local anesthetic, where a small nylon string, about fourteen inches long, is implanted into a developing blackhead. The recovery time is about three days. The only visible sign is a small string hanging from a pore.

A K/H encounter group is arranged as a party. All present can be identified by the small, almost invisible, string peeking through a pore. Sometime the string is hidden by clothing.

Drinks and conversation flow freely as the magic hour nears. All watch as the second hand approaches, a signal is given. The strings are pulled out, one knot at a time, as they scream and writhe on the floor in ecstasy.

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Copyright © 1996-2012 by Lanty H. Wylie, Jr. All Rights Reserved.